There’s nothing more beautiful than sharing your life with someone but unfortunately, things didn’t go the right way for Ryan and Jill Finley. The two got married in Oklahoma and lived a peaceful life until an unexpected medical condition got in the way of their happiness.
Ryan soon found himself in front of a new challenge but the decision he had to make was nowhere near the kinds of decisions newlyweds are usually occupied with. When his wife fell into a sudden coma, Ryan had the toughest decision to make.
Not an Ordinary Weekend
Ryan and Jill loved spending as much time together as possible. They spent time relaxing at home every chance they got, including weekends, which were their happiest days. But one particular weekend, it all went wrong.
Ryan usually let his wife sleep a bit as he read his morning papers but on this particular Sunday morning, Ryan noticed something strange when he went to wake up his wife.
A Strange Urge
It was a morning in 2007 that changed Ryan’s and Jill’s lives forever. THe two were married for four years at this point and they were well aware of one another’s routines and habits. There was nothing strange about Jill wanting to sleep in so Ryan didn’t make any efforts to wake her up early in the morning.
All of a sudden, Ryan felt a strange urge to wake Jill up from her sleep. Even to this day he is not sure what prompted him to get up at that very moment to wake up his wife. However, he is thankful that he did so because no one knows what could’ve happened if he hadn’t got off the porch back then.
Something Was Off
When he was later asked about why he got up to look for Jill, Ryan said: “I can’t tell you why, but I just felt that I wanted to wake her up that day.” It was May 26, 2007, and Ryan casually walked to his bedroom to wake up his wife Jill. However, he was shocked to find out that she wasn’t responding at all.
At this point, he had tried everything, from yelling very loudly to even shaking his wife to wake up. Unfortunately, none of it made any difference because Jill was not waking up. It was then that Ryan noticed that his wife was not even breathing.
Quick to React
Ryan was in a state of shock when he realized that his wife was not conscious at all. However, he tried to keep his mind calm as he knew he had to take action. He jumped to the phone and dialed 911 as quickly as he could. While waiting for the ambulance to arrive, Ryan lifted his wife out of bed and placed her on the floor to perform CPR.
Luckily, Ryan went to a CPR course about a decade before the tragic event. He remembered his training and tried to help Jill breathe again. Even though he never even performed CPR after the training, he tried everything he could to help his wife who was still not responding.
It Felt Like Hours
Ryan later described that “it felt like forever, it felt like hours,” while he was waiting for the ambulance to arrive. It took about 15 minutes for the meds to arrive and take over. The team quickly took matters into their hands as Ryan stood by the side, hoping that his wife would be okay.
The paramedics tried everything that was in their power to revive Jill, including using a defibrillator in hopes that electric shocks would bring her heart back to life. “I could actually hear the machine going. A thump and then the second thump. I heard Jill coming back down and hitting the wooden floor,” commented Ryan.
The Trip to the Hospital
At this point, it was obvious that Jill needed some serious medical care. The team quickly picked her up and put her in the vehicle to rush to the Oklahoma Heart Hospital. Ryan wasn’t allowed to go with them so he rushed after them in his own car.
As soon as they arrived to the hospital, Jill was put on a respirator in hopes to start breathing again. However, Jill was not responding to the treatment immediately and the doctors were ready to take the next step to fight for her life.
What Was Going On
According to Ryan’s memory of the event, it took around 25 minutes for the medical team to stabilize Jill enough so that the doctors could further come up with solutions. As if it wasn’t enough to watch his wife go through something like this, Ryan didn’t even know what caused the issue in the first place.
The medical staff was moving quick, doing everything they could during these critical moments. Luckily, Jill started breathing again and her heart stabilized. If it weren’t for Ryan’s quick reaction, who knows how things would’ve turned out. Ryan was so relieved when he saw his wife breathing again but he wasn’t aware that another turn was yet about to take place.
Giving Their Best Efforts
The doctors took Jill’s case very seriously from the moment she placed in the hospital bed. It was now clear that she had gone into cardiac arrest during her sleep and that she spent nearly five minutes without oxygen whatsoever. The doctors moved fast to start the chill suit treatment, which meant inducing clinical hypothermia in order to reduce the possibility of brain damage.
During this chilling treatment, Jill’s body was treated with cool water and wrapped into large cooling pads for 24 hours, which lowered her body temperature to 90 degrees. All Ryan could do while this was happening was sit and wait. Dr. Michael Schoeffler who was in charge of treating Jill said that “there are studies that have shown that it helps protect the brain in hopes that she will have a recovery.”
She Fell in a Coma
After the chilling 24 hours, doctors started to warm up Jill’s body. They hoped that she would awake during this process because that’s when many patients wake up. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the case with Jill. She was still not responding and the doctors said she had little brain activity. However, Ryan was not ready to give up yet.
It was clear that Jill had fallen into a coma, which meant that the situation was far more serious than it appeared. After finding out about her condition, Ryan stayed next to Jill and refused to leave her side despite doctors telling him that he must go home.
Sticking by Her Side
Despite all the odds, Ryan was convinced that Jill would overcome the difficult condition she was in. He decided to keep her company even though all he could do was sit and watch her sleep. However, he didn’t want to leave her side in hopes that she would wake up. He laid on the bed next to her and spent time reading verses from the Bible out loud.
He wasn’t ready to give up hope. Instead, Ryan tried everything he could, including praying for his wife’s well-being. Unfortunately, days passed and doctors started to realize that the situation was hopeless. The had to be direct and straightforward about it.
The Devastating News
When Ryan was asked to describe the moment he received the news from the doctor, he said: “It was grim, I’ll put it that way. Everything they told me was grim.” What he was being told was that there was only a one percent chance that his wife would recover. Even though the odds were against the situation, Ryan still refused to give up on hope. It wasn’t over yet.
He continued to pray for his wife and he even started to keep a diary. What he wrote inside that notebook was truly heartbreaking but one could see that he was really determined to fight for his wife’s life. Ryan was not ready to accept the end yet.
The Realization
“Every morning I’d wake up and I’d realize, this isn’t a dream. The doctors told me that there were never any signs that she was coming back. There wasn’t,” said Ryan. He was trying to keep his faith as days went by but his wife still wasn’t waking up. He became aware that he was living a nightmare.
Despite all the hope that Ryan had, he was aware that even if Jill survives, odds are she would remain in a vegetative state and be unable to recover fully. Either way, he was definitely not expecting the outcome that took place afterward.
Two Weeks Went By
Despite all doctors’ attempts to bring her back to life, Jill spent a total of 14 days in a coma. Her friends and loved ones slowly started to realize that there might not be a happy ending in this story. As time went by, her condition was not improving at all.
It was laready difficult enough to live knowing that his wife is in a coma. However, the decision Ryan was about to face proved to be the hardest one he will ever make in his entire life. Despite all the hope they had, Ryan and Jill’s parents knew they had to think about the final outcome.
The Worst Day of Life
Ryan found himself hopelessly standing in front of the woman he loved. Unfortunately, she wasn’t able to look back at him. Even though he couldn’t imagine living his life without her, Ryan knew that Jill wouldn’t want to live her life tied to the bed.
He was then placed in a very difficult situation. As her husband, Jill had to decide whether to take her off life support, which would mean ending her life. “Today could be the worst day of life. I essentially have to decide whether or not Jill will live or not. My soulmate. My everything,” Ryan wrote in his diary.
Memories
Ryan knew that him and Jill had never discussed what to do in situations like these. They never clearly agreed on what they should decide in case one of them was in this situation. After all, you don’t ever think that something like this could happen to you or your loved one.
Luckily, Ryan remembered what happened when his aunt was hospitalized on life support. A few years ago his family had to decide what would happen with her life. He remembered that Jill commented on the situation and said: “I would never want to live that way.” The clock was ticking and Ryan was facing the pressure of having to make the decision soon.
Time for a Difficult Decision
Ryan took time to consult with Jill’s family and they all agreed on the final decision. They believed that Jill wouldn’t want to live that way. The moment came and Ryan made the decision to remove his wife from life support and thus say his final goodbye.
Jill’s family agreed with the decision and they requested a court order to initiate the process. When he looked back on the situation, Ryan said that he faced the hardest decision of his life. He also added: “You don’t think when you’re 31 years olf that you will have to be doing this with your wife that’s 32.”
Goodbye
The time came for the doctors to explain Ryan and Jill’s family what was going to happen after they take her off of life support. Even though no one can truly prepare you for that moment, the doctors explained that death would not come right away. In some cases patients demonstrate reflexive movements or even make sounds. This period is referred to as the “last rally.”
Ryan and people who were closest to Jill came to say their goodbyes. Once they did, the doctors turned off the machines and took ill off of life support. Ryan prepared himself for the worst as he watched his wife being taken off the machines that were keeping her alive. However, he was not expecting what happened next!
A Call From the Nurse
It was June 9th, 2007, when Jill was officially removed from life support. “Her whole upper torso would just kind of shift a little bit. And then the mumbling would start. When that started, I left the room. I physically got sick,” said Ryan, admitting that it was all too much for him.
The doctors tried to keep Ryan calm but he couldn’t stand the situation he was in. After all, watching someone you love taking their last breath is the last thing you want to happen in your life. Ryan was unable to go back in the room until a nurse rushed and called for him. He was not expecting these news!
An Unexpected Event
Ryan returned to Jill’s room around 11 p.m., which was about five hours after life support was turned off. He sat by her side and watched her mumble and move around. Judging by what the doctors had told him, Ryan believed he was watching his wife’s “last rally.”
“I thought that was it, that was the last rally,” said Ryan when he looked back on that terrible moment. However, he tried to understand what Jill was saying and it quickly became clear that what was happening was not the expected outcome.